A Birthday Present
by Vahkhiin
Summary: She once had hope in him hope in their life that they shared. Now, there was only her, there wasn’t them, just a her. But still she needs him. Clotif


She stood at the sink scrubbing a stain on a cup which she found most stubborn. No matter how hard she tried the stain just wouldn't subside. There was no removing this stain, just like her life. There was no hope anymore, nothing, she once depended on him, now, she only depended on the next day. Just another hour, another day. Nothing more, nothing less.

She once had hope in him; hope in their life that they shared. Now, there was only her, there wasn't them, just a her. She was truly alone, and although she had Denzel and Marlene, she didn't have the one thing she had wanted the most.

Truth be told, she wanted him; wanted him to be her night in shining armor; wanted him to be that man for her; to be that happiness that lit up her day and made her smile even though she was sad. But there was none of that and frankly, there never will be.

"He's not coming back, Tifa," she told herself as she settled the cup down on the rack she stared down at the sink and let out a long sigh.

The blinds were seeping in sunlight through its cracks, creating a sort of sunset dazed vibrant in the kitchen. It was a gloomy day, a gloomy kitchen with a gloomy sort of person. A person that had reached the point of endlessness. The point where there was no more hope in anything, not even the man which she thought would one day finally see.

Perhaps she should put that aside; put her little ideas aside and live with what was what. She had hoped too much, wished and dreamed way too much for her own good. Dreaming and wishing only makes it harder to say goodbye to him every morning. It only made it harder for her to look at him and know that he was the source of her pain. It only made each day and hour worse. Frankly, it only made her life harder to even think about it.

She remembered the day he had given her that ring, it was meant more of a gift than anything else. It certainly was not an initiation to their wedding, and obscurely wasn't any sort of couple relationship key. She wished it had been, but now she knew, it wasn't. How did she know? Well, because he had left again, just like he did every morning. Just like he would leave without saying goodbye; Just like how he would avoid her completely, and come home at the late hours and leave in the early hours.

He was so self centered, so in love with himself. How could anyone spend so much time by himself without even contemplating the thought that she, of all people, would be sitting there suffering?

And certainly, how could her one and only best friend forget her birthday? Of all days in her life, her birthday. Sad how no one seem to remember; even more sad how he was gone and she was here to celebrate her birthday by herself scrubbing a stubborn spot out of a cup. Double the sadness of the fact that here she stood by herself thinking about being sad.

"Tifa."

She looked down to her left and saw Denzel staring up at her questionably. The Geostigma had left a scar on his arm which will probably never go away, but he held it high with a sense of pride in his eyes. Maybe he was showing it off in order to show a sense of manly hood to Marlene. She could see it in his eyes, that like that he had for that girl. Her heart crushed at that thought; the thought that a youngster had more chance of love than she ever would.

"Denzel," she replied with a gentle smile.

She never understood how she always managed to smile for them. For her surrogate children. She had always secretly wanted to be a mother. To carry around a child for nine months, and to watch it grow. She wanted to face motherhood, to protect something that was actually hers. She wanted to be its guardian, and teacher. She wanted to guide it through the good times and the bad. Most of all, she wanted something to hang on to. Something to bring happiness in her life unlike some people.

"Have you seen Marlene?" he asked with a tilted brow.

She shook her head.

"No, I haven't," she said as she touched his cheek and brushed back his hair.

"Oh," he replied.

"Something wrong?" she asked, sensing the hint of disappointment in his voice.

He shook his head and said quickly, "Nothing," he scratched his neck, "We were playing hide and seek, and I can't find her." He looked somewhat dumbfounded with the fact that he had supposedly lost to a girl.

She let out a small laugh and touched his cheek affectionately.

"Don't worry, I'm sure she'll come out of her hiding hole soon," she said, trying her best to ease his worries and let him know that no matter what, girls will always win when it came to boys. That's because girls think more, where as boys just tend to rush into the first hiding spot he can find.

"You think so?" he asked, as if worried that Marlene would forever hide from him.

She laughed yet again, the childishness of children. "Of course," she said.

"Okay, if you say so," he said and hung his head down solemnly. He turned and retreated out the door sadly.

"Denzel," she said, feeling slightly sorry for the child.

He turned around and met her gaze.

"I'll help you find her," she added, "How's that?"

His solemn expression grew into a smile and he walked quickly up to her and took her hand in his.

"Let's go check upstairs," he said and guided them up the creaking steps.

She followed obediently, letting the child lead her. She knew where to look for Marlene, but decided to let the boy take the lead for once. It was after all his game to begin with.

She followed him through the many rooms, waiting at the door as he so thoroughly checked each and every corner. He even had the utmost bravery to look through her wardrobe. She had to admit that the sigh which escaped her lips was of pure happiness due to the fact that her more personal clothing was securely sitting in the highest drawer. She only had to sigh happily again after he exited her room.

They walked down the steps again with the boy frantically sticking his hands up in the air almost as if he was giving up.

"I don't know where else to look," he said angrily and walked into the kitchen. She followed him and couldn't help but stare open mouth at the sight before her.

_He _stood there with their friends and a cake and a few candles alit on the table. Marlene childishly had to peek her head around the corner of the table and make her feel completely stupid for even thinking the thoughts she had thought of earlier. She had been so wrong, so completely wrong. They remembered. Even _he _remembered.

"Surprise," Marlene said with a beaming smile.

Denzel stood beside her and too smiled. "Yeah," he said, "Surprise, Tifa."

After several minutes of letting the moment sink into her, she was already standing there eating the cake and talking to Yuffie.

"So, what's the latest gossip with you and spike huh?" the ninja asked with a girlish laugh.

"What?" she questioned with shock. "What do you mean?"

"Oh, puh-lease," the ninja spat and shook a hand at her face. "Don't try that, 'WHAT?' with me, I know certainly well that there is some sparking tension between you two."

Tension, sparking?

Right, as if. She wished. And right now, even though she knew she shouldn't, she gave the ninja a piece of her mind.

"Tension? Sparking?" she said disgustingly and rolled her eyes, "Right, I wish, there isn't one least bit of hint anywhere to begin with," she threw a finger in the air, "Firstly, I have to live like this without any sort of communication with him, secondly, he's gone by the time I wake up, and comes home by the time I'm asleep, thirdly, he doesn't even care in the slightest with how I'm feeling or the fact that I have to deal with so much and get nothing in return," the tears were reaching her eyes now, "And lastly," she blinked away the tears, "Lastly," that's it.

She spun around and walked away, leaving the cake sitting on the table. She ignored the Ninja's pleas and quickly sped up the pace of her footsteps. She reached her room and closed the door and shut it tight and as the sound of the click registered itself in her ears she collapsed down the wall and cried.

She cried for the fact that she had just given Yuffie a piece of her mind; she cried for the fact that the one man, the only man that she loved didn't feel anything in return; she cried for the fact that she hardly even saw this man anymore, nor talked to him, yet there he stood with them celebrating her birthday. Most of all, she cried for the fact that every inch of her soul and heart had been geared to hoping he would love her, yet here she was alone and with no hope.

Burying her face in her hands she let the tears fall freely. Letting her soul out, releasing her anger and letting it flow away with water.

Then when all hope had truly left her soul, she felt a hand touching her face. Without thinking she fought this intruder and gazed her eyes upward and met those of blue.

"Cloud," the name escaped her lips; the name which meant pure pain and happiness at the same time; the name that had haunted her since the very beginning of time.

She wiped away her tears, hiding away the fact that she had been crying. But somehow, she knew that no matter how fast her hands were moving, he had already seen it all.

"Tifa," he began slowly and looked at her gently.

That was one thing she never really understood. She had never understood why he avoided her so much yet when he looked at her, his eyes were always so gentle and soft. There were three sides of this man that she saw. There was the side that he had when he was in a battle, then there was the side when he was with their friends, but there was this one side, the side that she would see only when he looked at her.

She shook her head and looked into his blue eyes. She wasn't going to fall for it this time, not anymore.

"No," she said and continued shaking her head. "Just leave me alone, Cloud."

She saw the hurt that grazed through his eyes. He deserved every inch of pain right now. After all the pain he caused her, he deserved pain.

He kept silent and didn't say a word. She grunted; the nerve of him to stare at her when she was at the lowest point in her life. Why couldn't he pick a better time than to implore her with that look? This was certainly not that time for him to do just what he was doing.

"I can't," his words made her listen twice.

"Can't?" the question stumbled out of her lips, "Can't? Cloud, you have ran away ever since Aeris died, that's right, she died Cloud, and you know what, there is nothing I can do, nothing you can do to bring her back, and no matter how much.." she wiped away her tears, "no matter how much you try, there is no way. Since you love her more, then why don't you just jump off a cliff and be with her."

She shook her head at him and buried her head in her hands. All she wanted to do right now was crawl under a rock and let the weight of the substance squash her from existence. She didn't deserve any of this unhappiness. She didn't deserve to be sad after all she had gone through.

"Tifa," he said again but this time he held her in his arms. "I'm sorry."

She didn't fight him this time; she only sat there and enjoyed his touch for once. But she was still angry at him, that didn't change.

"Sorry?" she said disappointedly, "Just sorry? That's all you can say?" she choked through tears.

Her body was shaking violently as she hiccupped through tears. She knew her tears were probably soaking through his shirt, but he didn't let go, he kept holding onto her with his hand running up and down her back.

"I'm sorry, but what you said was wrong," he replied softly.

"What-"

"You said that I loved her more," he said.

"But you do," she said.

"I don't," he said firmly yet softly.

"But…then," she tried.

"You, Tifa," he replied.

"Huh?"

He drew himself back and looked her in the eyes, touching his lips against hers.

"You," he said again, "I love," he kissed her again, "You."

And for that moment, she didn't know what to say, what to feel what to do. She was truly lost in that moment. There was nothing hurting her, nothing making her happy. Just three words that made it also confusing. But she knew one thing, and that was the idea of crawling under a rock was a bad one, because she preferred this moment instead.

She did the last thing she thought she would do when he said that. She cried, grabbing his shirt and burying her face in the crook of his neck. She cried away all the sadness, all the grief as she held onto him for dear life. She briefly remembered him stroking her back and holding her tightly in his arms. But she knew he had kissed her neck several times, as if somehow soothing her and knowing that she understood now.

After several minutes her crying ceased and only silence fell between them. She still clung onto him, and he still kneeled there holding her in his arms.

"I'm sorry," he mumbled.

Was he crying?

"I'm sorry I caused you pain," he too buried his face in the crook of her neck. "I'm sorry I ran away, I was afraid."

"Afraid of what?" she asked softly.

"To lose you," he choked out.

She couldn't help but feel a pang of guilt. She had caused the mighty Cloud Strife to cry.

Guiding his head in her hands she held him close now and ran her hands up and down his back.

"You didn't," she whispered in his ear, "I'm here right now."

And he did what she though he never would; he kissed her on the neck, several times.

Pulling back she lifted his chin and stared into his tear filled eyes. Smiling slightly at the sight of both of them she touched his cheek and brushed her fingertips against his soft skin. Taking in every bit of this moment and savoring it forever.

"I love," she kissed him gently and pulled back, "You too."

And just like that she sealed what she thought would never come to an end; the hope of being in love with him; the loss of their friend, and the sadness that clouded her heart. They were all replaced with everything she thought she would never have.

Though yet they had a life ahead of them, right now, right there, that was all that she needed.

She needed him and she got him.

Now that, is the best birthday present that she ever got.

_End. _


End file.
